Epis-what?!
Yay! Another cousin is pregnant, so by next February we'll have another baby to play with! :)
***
Expectedly, the news of this coming addition to the family meant that dinner tonight at my uncle's place was usurped by pregnancy and maternity discussion. That, and the usual obsession with Baby Ben.
He smiles when you tell him to smile; he screams when you tell him to scream; he lets out a sarcastic "ha-ha" when you tell him to laugh; and he rubs his eyes when you tell him to cry. Aaaaand he can count up to ten in English and Chinese! :p
(He also insists we reward him with applause every time he gets something right. This little guy will have a thing or two to learn about humility when he grows up! :p)
***
I think the most puzzling thing about babies is their unrestrained joy and unbounded energy. After chasing him around for an hour or so, my sister turned to me: "Urgh, I'm perspiring like crazy."
I dabbed the side of my forehead. "Yeah, me too," I said. Then I looked at Ben, and ruffled his hair. "Wait, he's been running around as much as we have. How come he's still nice and dry?!"
My sister's face contorted in worry. "Suppose this means we're getting old?"
"..."
I suppose so.
***
Cousin: "It's not possible to not have an episiotomy. How on earth will a baby's head be able to come out from your vagina otherwise?"
Aunt: "I didn't have an episiotomy..."
Cousin: "That's because in your time they didn't perform routine episiotomies!"
Me (to my aunt): "Wait, but that means that you can give birth without an episiotomy, right? I mean, you did it."
Aunt: "Er, yes, no episiotomy..."
I heave a sigh of relief. Hope.
Aunt: "It just tore, lor."
Me: "..."
***
No other word in the dictionary sounds as painful. I really really want to adopt now.
***
Expectedly, the news of this coming addition to the family meant that dinner tonight at my uncle's place was usurped by pregnancy and maternity discussion. That, and the usual obsession with Baby Ben.
He smiles when you tell him to smile; he screams when you tell him to scream; he lets out a sarcastic "ha-ha" when you tell him to laugh; and he rubs his eyes when you tell him to cry. Aaaaand he can count up to ten in English and Chinese! :p
(He also insists we reward him with applause every time he gets something right. This little guy will have a thing or two to learn about humility when he grows up! :p)
***
I think the most puzzling thing about babies is their unrestrained joy and unbounded energy. After chasing him around for an hour or so, my sister turned to me: "Urgh, I'm perspiring like crazy."
I dabbed the side of my forehead. "Yeah, me too," I said. Then I looked at Ben, and ruffled his hair. "Wait, he's been running around as much as we have. How come he's still nice and dry?!"
My sister's face contorted in worry. "Suppose this means we're getting old?"
"..."
I suppose so.
***
Cousin: "It's not possible to not have an episiotomy. How on earth will a baby's head be able to come out from your vagina otherwise?"
Aunt: "I didn't have an episiotomy..."
Cousin: "That's because in your time they didn't perform routine episiotomies!"
Me (to my aunt): "Wait, but that means that you can give birth without an episiotomy, right? I mean, you did it."
Aunt: "Er, yes, no episiotomy..."
I heave a sigh of relief. Hope.
Aunt: "It just tore, lor."
Me: "..."
***
No other word in the dictionary sounds as painful. I really really want to adopt now.
posted by Laughingcow at 10:21 pm
3 Comments:
Urm. I have heard that childbirth is akin to pulling your upper lip past your eyes all the way to the back of your head. Pain pain. Tt's why I have all the respect in the world for mothers.
yup.. sometimes the doctors have to stitch the relevant parts back..
which is partly why C-sections are popular now, especially since they can have a horizontal incision off-centre at the pelvic region, which means no one can see your scar when ure in a bikini..
I wonder how I know this things..
Vandice: Congratulations, you have just managed to make it sound even more painful than before!
Woof!: I ALSO WONDER HOW YOU KNOW THESE THINGS! :p But I will most certainly not be getting a C-section solely for aesthetic purposes; I hardly think that any invasive surgery would ever be favoured over natural birth. The position of the scar, in any case, is also inconsequential; if I am going to be bearing his children, my husband had better start to learn to like stretch marks and varicose veins and every yucky thing that comes along with the baby! [Angst off]
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