Spark in the dark
Tagged again, this time by D W! (Do I run that slowly? Hur hur.) I'm tired from a full day of lab, so don't expect anything remotely coherent, but here goes... :)
***
So, what is the one spark in the midst of darkness? What is the one thing that made you smile today?
***
When you have a full day of lab, it leaves little time for anything else -- at least for the day. I seldom talk about work here, because it really isn't all that interesting -- for you, and sometimes, for me. This tag gives me anexcuse opportunity to share what I didn't think I would.
For a while, my Final Year Project was pretty touch-and-go; problems ranged from unrealistic experimental objectives to mechanical breakdowns (the machines, not me). The short story is that, while the deadline for my thesis to be handed in was to be the end of this month, it has now been extended to mid-August. I'm mostly grateful for the extension -- because I don't know what I'd do if I had to turn in my thesis in a week's time -- but I have to admit that part of my heart sank at the thought of having not a single day of break before the new semester begins on August 8.
To make things worse, people whom I needed authorisation from started going on leave, the machine had to be sent for repairs, and much of my data had erstwhile been contradictory to what we'd expect in theory.
(Hey, you have to hear about the darkness if you want to know about the spark, okay?)
So the only person left that I was working with took sick last Friday, and I assume that she'll contact me -- or show up at the lab -- when she feels better. I dropped her a get-well-soon note, but didn't feel like waiting around.
I got into the lab early this morning. It was dark, and no one else was in. I sat in front of the computer, and the machine whose fragility had been breached so many times this past semester. In the quietness and the soft humming of the air-conditioner, I buried my head in my hands. What was I going to do now? What if I never ever get any results no matter how much I try? What in the world would I write for my thesis? What if I'm unable to graduate?!
The door knob clattered noisily, and my head jerked upwards, instinctively looking to see who'd come in -- the lab officer. I mustered a weak smile, and a wave of the hand. I shifted my chair and lowered my head behind the computer monitor to hide myself from her view; I wasn't in the mood for small talk. There, staring at the blank screen, I bowed my head down again, and I started to pray -- for favour, for wisdom, for peace, for something.
The rest of the day, I went about my work as usual, with one of my supervisors popping in now and then to make sure that the machine was working well; I couldn't tell, really. Without anyone around to point out my mistakes, and with much free time in between scans, I experimented with a couple of formulas, and played around with the data.
It was almost time to knock off, when a single click brought up a graph that almost brought tears to my eyes. I checked it over and over again. I close my eyes, and breathed in deeply -- please don't let this be some kind of cruel joke. It looked... it looked like...
I called my supervisor and he came running. After checking it twice, he turned to look at me, and held my gaze for the longest time. Please let this be good, please let nothing be wrong... Then he beamed like I'd never seen before. "That's perfect!" He literally jumped for joy. Then he skipped out of the lab, and sent out some frantic e-mails to inform the others of the results. As I watched him leave, I stood there stunned.
This was SOMETHING.
***
Today, my spark was not getting a good experimental result, nor was it the pat on the back, nor the feather in my cap; today, my spark was answered prayer -- without which I would be nothing, and have nothing.
Today, the reminder of that made me smile, and made me cry. Too many times, answered prayer goes unseen, unthanked, and unnoticed. Today, I'm reminded that I worry too much, and trust too little. But most of all, today, I'm comforted that Someone takes the time to remind me anyway. :)
Today, my spark wasn't so much a spark as it was fireworks. :)
***
So, what is the one spark in the midst of darkness? What is the one thing that made you smile today?
I guess this is where I tag five other people; I don't want to tag the same people again, so here goes: One Little Twit, 7366, and Lyn. It's not so much a tag as it is a gentle nudge. Please don't feel incredibly obliged to write; it's all for fun. ;) As always, the converse is such that for anyone else who feels compelled to share, by all means answer the questions, and -- if you like -- drop me a note. :)
And yes, I can't count.
***
So, what is the one spark in the midst of darkness? What is the one thing that made you smile today?
***
When you have a full day of lab, it leaves little time for anything else -- at least for the day. I seldom talk about work here, because it really isn't all that interesting -- for you, and sometimes, for me. This tag gives me an
For a while, my Final Year Project was pretty touch-and-go; problems ranged from unrealistic experimental objectives to mechanical breakdowns (the machines, not me). The short story is that, while the deadline for my thesis to be handed in was to be the end of this month, it has now been extended to mid-August. I'm mostly grateful for the extension -- because I don't know what I'd do if I had to turn in my thesis in a week's time -- but I have to admit that part of my heart sank at the thought of having not a single day of break before the new semester begins on August 8.
To make things worse, people whom I needed authorisation from started going on leave, the machine had to be sent for repairs, and much of my data had erstwhile been contradictory to what we'd expect in theory.
(Hey, you have to hear about the darkness if you want to know about the spark, okay?)
So the only person left that I was working with took sick last Friday, and I assume that she'll contact me -- or show up at the lab -- when she feels better. I dropped her a get-well-soon note, but didn't feel like waiting around.
I got into the lab early this morning. It was dark, and no one else was in. I sat in front of the computer, and the machine whose fragility had been breached so many times this past semester. In the quietness and the soft humming of the air-conditioner, I buried my head in my hands. What was I going to do now? What if I never ever get any results no matter how much I try? What in the world would I write for my thesis? What if I'm unable to graduate?!
The door knob clattered noisily, and my head jerked upwards, instinctively looking to see who'd come in -- the lab officer. I mustered a weak smile, and a wave of the hand. I shifted my chair and lowered my head behind the computer monitor to hide myself from her view; I wasn't in the mood for small talk. There, staring at the blank screen, I bowed my head down again, and I started to pray -- for favour, for wisdom, for peace, for something.
The rest of the day, I went about my work as usual, with one of my supervisors popping in now and then to make sure that the machine was working well; I couldn't tell, really. Without anyone around to point out my mistakes, and with much free time in between scans, I experimented with a couple of formulas, and played around with the data.
It was almost time to knock off, when a single click brought up a graph that almost brought tears to my eyes. I checked it over and over again. I close my eyes, and breathed in deeply -- please don't let this be some kind of cruel joke. It looked... it looked like...
I called my supervisor and he came running. After checking it twice, he turned to look at me, and held my gaze for the longest time. Please let this be good, please let nothing be wrong... Then he beamed like I'd never seen before. "That's perfect!" He literally jumped for joy. Then he skipped out of the lab, and sent out some frantic e-mails to inform the others of the results. As I watched him leave, I stood there stunned.
This was SOMETHING.
***
Today, my spark was not getting a good experimental result, nor was it the pat on the back, nor the feather in my cap; today, my spark was answered prayer -- without which I would be nothing, and have nothing.
Today, the reminder of that made me smile, and made me cry. Too many times, answered prayer goes unseen, unthanked, and unnoticed. Today, I'm reminded that I worry too much, and trust too little. But most of all, today, I'm comforted that Someone takes the time to remind me anyway. :)
Today, my spark wasn't so much a spark as it was fireworks. :)
***
So, what is the one spark in the midst of darkness? What is the one thing that made you smile today?
I guess this is where I tag five other people; I don't want to tag the same people again, so here goes: One Little Twit, 7366, and Lyn. It's not so much a tag as it is a gentle nudge. Please don't feel incredibly obliged to write; it's all for fun. ;) As always, the converse is such that for anyone else who feels compelled to share, by all means answer the questions, and -- if you like -- drop me a note. :)
And yes, I can't count.
posted by Laughingcow at 11:59 pm
5 Comments:
That was a great testimony. I have been blessed by your sharing. :) - D W
That's true. Most of the time we fail to notice the little things that the Lord answers.
D W: I'm glad you've been blessed. :) Thanks for the tag! ;)
Zen|th: Hur hur. That probably happens on a daily basis for me. :p
haha answered your tag! although it seems a little bit like yours. hrms. hehe. :)
Thanks for playing along. :) Doesn't sound like mine lah! :p
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