Meme of 24

Tagged by the very cerebral Vandice to name 24 "oddities" about myself. Personally, I prefer the term "unique" over "weird" anytime, ahem.

1. As far as it is applicable, volume levels (of TV, computer, speakers, portable players, etc.) have to be set in multiples of 5, 10, or 11.
2. In JC, my maths tutor once nicknamed a bunch of us the Spice Girls of the class. Someone shouted out from the back of the class, suggesting I be Violent Spice. I gave him a swift, hard kick in the shin after the lesson; in my defence, I was already holding back, so I wasn't totally responsible for the bleeding!
3. My mom says that she associates very distinct characteristics to each of our childhoods: my brother loved to hide himself in closets (it was very stressful for the rest of us; on hindsight, we should have put a bell on him), my sister's tantrums are were always accompanied by feet-stamping, and I was always climbing -- I climbed up trees, tables, gates, scaffolds, and door frames. (The irony now is that even walking down a flight of stairs without getting into an accident is a small victory for me.)
4. I can only write my name and register/matriculation number on my exam scripts after I've finished them.
5. In my family, there is a clear divide between the guys and the girls when it comes to eating durian: the girls love it, and the guys hate it. For the record, Rocky also hated it and would stay far away from us whenever we brought any home. It remains to be seen if Amy will continue this unexplainable phenomenon.
6. I used to own all of the Backstreet Boys' CDs. I'm now looking for Brian Littrell's latest release.
7. I'm usually fairly receptive to advice and criticism, but not when I go for facials or massages. I don't like to be told the exact number of blackheads on my face, and I certainly don't like to be asked if I'd like to try their slimming package.
8. I tell my friends that I'm not ticklish, in hopes that they believe me and don't decide to test it out. It works most of the time.
9. When I'm trying to resist the urge to laugh at inappropriate times, I think of something sad -- usually of a loved one dying. This sometimes backfires and I end up crying instead.
10. When possible, I space my steps equally when walking. Lines or tiles help.
11. I had a crush on a co-worker once. Just seeing him would make me all wobbly; I spilt tea in front of him three times in two months.
12. I drink Ribena, but I don't eat grapes.
13. I would never let my other half be a house-husband, because I want to be the one to stay at home.
14. K-Ci & Jojo's "All My Life" always reminds me of aliens, because I had the single on repeat while I was reading The Andalite Chronicles.
15. I used to read the Animorphs series (see 14) faithfully. Every month, when a new book came out, the nice bookshop auntie at Holland V's EMF would call me to let me know. I was absolutely crushed when K. A. Applegate discontinued the series, and I never read any of her books again.
16. While we're on my reading habits, I did also follow the Sweet Valley series. I was in love with Tom Watts.
17. I've chased a friend out of my car and left him on the sidewalk in the middle of the night because he was drunk and I was scared.
18. I don't drink alcohol. Not a drop. (Tiramisu doesn't count.)
19. Taylor is the first AI contestant I've supported who's won the competition. In season two, I supported Clay, and he lost to Ruben. (In season three, I didn't like either Fantasia or Diana.) In season four, I supported Bo, and he lost to Carrie.
20. I tend to act out words when I talk. When I say the word "cry," I run my fingers down my face; when I say "old," I tend to stroke an imaginary beard (yes, I do realise that I'll never actually have a beard no matter how old I get). X always makes fun of me for doing this.
21. I turned down my dad's offer to buy me a car.
22. Despite ostensible padding, I am extremely afraid of the cold; I am the only one in my family who sleeps without the air-con. The default temperature on my air-con remote is 25 deg C, only because the highest it can go is 28 deg C (see 1).
23. I am strangely attracted to guys who wear glasses intermittently.
24. I am not-so-strangely turned off by guys who wear turtlenecks.

Unemployed: Day 29

Man, this past week just flew by, didn't it? I'm so tired I can no longer move any part of my body apart from my fingers, so here I am.

On Wednesday, I had my first (informal) guitar lesson! My fingers are tingling again at the mere mention of it -- tingling from the pain, that is. X and her boyfriend (I refuse to assign anymore acronyms; from now on if I want to repeatedly refer to someone, I'm going to give them a nickname, like Mr Mogu -- it's less confusing for me, and (hopefully) funnier for you) came over to visit Amy! Before they came, I gave her her first bath. She didn't like the water, of course, and despite being less defiant than Rocky was during bath-time, it was still quite an adventure. I used to think that she was around the same size as Rocky, but it seems that she's quite a bit bigger! I think Rocky's fur gave the illusion that he was much larger than he actually was! If you've ever seen him wet, he really is just a giant rodent.

As I was saying, Amy's size and weight -- and also the fact that she insisted on edging herself as far away from the water hose as possible -- made it quite a task to scrub her thoroughly. She also decided that she would dig nails as deep as she could into the grooves between the patio tiles whenever I tried to turn her around. It was quite a workout, and by the time I was done with her, I had to go take a bath!

On Thursday, I had to take a psychometric test as part of an interview. Apparently the results were "rather unusual for a fresh grad" because it reflected a more "managerial" profile. So if anyone knows of any entry-level managerial position, I'll be free to meet with you next Monday through Wednesday.

I spent most of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday helping the parents out at a promotional event, which is the reason why my body is now on strike. But we did really well, and I'm really grateful. We almost finished all the stock that we'd brought, and we had many companies approach us for collaborations, so that was really really good.

We made a quick stop to see Baby Amber on Saturday morning before rushing off to work, and we packed up slightly earlier that evening so we could join the rest of the family in a sort of impromptu gathering at the hospital. :) Afterwards, my cousin and aunt came over to see Amy! My cousin came back a couple of weeks ago on a company posting (she'll be here for six months), but I've been having my hands full with Amy and a couple of interviews, so I haven't had the time to meet up with her. We played with Amy for a bit, had supper (typical hawker-fare, which returning family members always seem to crave), then went to tour my cousin's new apartment. By the time we got home, it was past midnight; I don't remember anything that happened between then and waking up for church.

So that was my week. How was yours? :)

***

X: "Can I come over and visit Amy?!"

Me: "Sure!"

X: "Oh, wait. But I'm having my period, will she be okay with that?"

Me: "???"

She's a dog, not a shark. She's not going to chew off your arm just because she smells blood.

(For the record, X survived.)

Baby Amber

Baby Amber, my very first niece, came into this world weighing 2.8 kg after nine hours of labour (and for once, via normal delivery -- no C-section!) on Friday evening! :)



For reasons unbeknownst to us, the girls in my family have always been the overachievers, consistently outdoing most of the boys. Amber doesn't know it yet, but she now leads the pack in her generation, to keep up with this proud tradition. ;) As a first step, she's already outdone both Ben and Dean in terms of volume; she's been screaming much louder and clearer than either of them did as newborns -- this girl has got some powerful pipes!

Ready for takeoff

My family has an unhealthy fascination with Amy's ears, perhaps because Rocky's were not long and floppy like that. Today as she was lying around, minding her own business, Mom suddenly burst out laughing: "Amy Airlines!"



Hurhur, remind you of anyone? ;)



***

We've been taking her on the same route for her walks, just in case she ever manages to get out; hopefully she'd at least be able to find her way back. The most frustrating thing about Amy is that she's adamant about walking right in the middle of the road, happily oblivious to the occasional cars! It takes a lot of tugging, pleading and begging to get her to walk on the pavement or on the grass. So that's something that needs working on.

We tried not to lead her today, to see if she knew where to go, on our walk back. Apart from being distracted by a cat (and wanting to follow it home!), she actually did pretty well, and when she reached our front gate, she sat down and waited for us to open it.

"You sure?" I asked. "Sure this is the correct house?"

She looked up at me with those big brown eyes and blinked, her butt firmly rooted to the ground. :) Yep.

Unemployed: Day 23

Job hunting is exhausting -- physically and emotionally. I don't want to blog about work, if and when that comes around, so I'm trying not to blog about the applications and the interviews, but man, I'm tired.

Days like these, I wish I could just be a stay-home mom... to Amy! ;)

We had our first taste of rain since she's been here, and Jin had informed us about Amy's fear of thunder. Fortunately, the rain didn't last long, and surprisingly there wasn't much drooling on Amy's part. She did, however, decide to camp under my table -- under the drawers -- trembling, until the rain stopped.



I tried to pry her away from the spot a couple of times, but she'd scuttle back in, so that was that. Rocky was extremely frightened of thunder and lightning as well, but his way of dealing with it was to find someone to attach himself too, in a way that maximised the area of contact! If I were sitting on the floor, he'd stretch his body along the length of my leg; if I were lying on the bed, he'd stretch his body along the length of mine. You get the idea.

Apart from that episode, she's been doing well. The first couple of days, she wouldn't go upstairs unless she was called, but today she's been venturing up and down on her own.



And while Rocky used to sleep on my bed, Amy seems to still observe the out-of-bounds rule that was set in Jin's house. ;) We're just trying to let her do her own thing for now, and she seems content to sleep amongst the cushions at the foot of my bed.



Looks familiar? Yeah, Rocky used to curl up at that very same spot all the time. :) The reason why I'd bought dark blue cushions was so that his black fur wouldn't show on the cushions when he shed. With Amy having three different colours of dog hair... I can't win! Helloo, vacuum!

The announcement

I had so many things that I wanted to say, but as I sit here in front of my keyboard, the words seem to elude me. The months that followed Rocky's passing have been extremely difficult and emotional, to say the least, and even when we think about him these days -- even when we talked about him today -- the tears still roll freely. But that's part of life and death -- of life and love. For the rest of our lives, we will continue to miss him -- that's no question -- but in the past few weeks, we finally decided that it was time, and that we wanted to give someone else a home.

Two weeks ago, I came across Jin's blog via Jean (thanks Jean!), and after much consideration and discussion with our families, a flurry of long e-mails, and a couple of meet-ups, Amy moved into our home this morning.



Say hello to Amy! :) There she is, from top to bottom, left to right: Missing Jin and family, curiously inspecting the spoilt sink with Dad, begging Mom for food, and um, just... Amy.

Just when I thought we'd rid the house of the ubiquitous dog hair, we're doing this all over again. Maybe we're crazy, I don't know. But it's been good so far; she's been fed and walked. (The other dogs in the neighbourhood have gone absolutely berserk at this new member of the community.) Every now and then, though, she rushes to the front gate and stares out with heartbreaking wistfulness. We'd watch her for a bit, our hearts tinged with wondering just what she must be feeling. But they are a resilient species, and as soon as she hears her name being called, she'd jolt back to reality and come running, tail a-wagging and all. We're all going to have to make some (re-)adjustments, but I have a feeling that we'll be okay. :)

***

Just as this blog became an accidental platform for friends and family to track Rocky's progress in the past, I'll probably be posting updates about Amy to keep Jin and her family in the loop.

Thank you -- Jin and Ming -- for entrusting us with Amy. It mustn't have been easy, but it will work out; as much as it seems like she's the one who needed a new home, I think it many ways, we needed this too. Before this journey began, we'd only hoped for a new addition to the family. But because God is that wonderful, we not only have that, but we have also gained a new friendship. Thank you for that. It's been a wonderful blessing getting to know you and your family.

Unemployed: Day 18

Left to right, top to bottom: Canopy walk at Kent Ridge Park, map of Kent Ridge Park, Memories at Old Ford Factory (the squiggles depict the calligraphic strokes of the Chinese word for "peace" or "和平"), Reflections at Bukit Chandu

I don't know whose idea it was to go on this nature and history hunt last Saturday, but I just tagged along, and it was surprisingly enjoyable. I even had to hold back tears, particularly at the Old Ford Factory. We also had a lot of fun talking to the gardeners at Kent Ridge Park, and they had their own little corner where they grew their corn, chilli padi (purple little things before turning red when ripe), bananas, dragon fruit, among other things. We were also told that visitors frequently stole their crop!

***

Nothing much on the job front, although I do have a couple of promotional events to help out with, for the parents' business, but I'm so used to that that it doesn't really feel like work anymore.

The past week or two, I've had something else -- something exciting -- to keep me busy, and it looks like it's all going to work out. :) Some of you may already know about it, but I'll post an official announcement, probably over the weekend.

(No, it's not a marriage announcement, don't get ahead of yourself. I'm nowhere close -- although some people have been trying to set up blind dates for me, and not being very subtle at that.)

***

They're using "I Believe in You" in the American Idol trailers! Very cool. I didn't talk much about the concert here, but it was the best concert I'd been to by a long way. I started crying from the third song onwards and never stopped. Yep, three hours of crying.

Anyway, Chapman wrote "I Believe in You" for his daughter, Emily, and sang it at her graduation. Also, Emily's boyfriend came along as his drummer on this tour! How cool is that? After singing "Fingerprints of God," he glared in mock menace at Emily's boyfriend (I think his name is Josh) and said: "That'd better be the only fingerprints I find on my daughter!"

That was wonderful. I just kept laughing and crying throughout. There is nothing that beats watching SCC "live"; everyone should do it.

***

Gardener (leading us into a little corner of the garden): "Be careful where you step."

Me: "Why? Are the tiles slippery?" (It had just rained.)

Gardener (unperturbed): "No, but be careful of the snakes."

Me: "!!!"

***


Boyfriend Girlfriend by Parka

Mom

Aren't you the little one
That hid in my arms afraid of the thunder
Are these the little hands
That held so tight to mine

Didn't we both agree you'd never grow up
And now here we are, and here you go
Of all the things I want to say
The thing you really need to know is

I believe in you
I believe in you
Everything you are
Everything you are becoming

I believe in you
I believe in you
So spread your wings and fly
On the wings of knowing I always believe in you

So many prayers we've prayed
So many dreams to get to this moment
Now this is where we stay
While you go change the world

But I'll be where I have always been
Up in the stands cheering you on
And singing this song
A song the very God who made you has been singing all along

I believe in you
I believe in you
So spread your wings and fly
On the wings of knowing I will always believe in you

And when you rise and when you fall
I'll still believe in you
Just close your eyes and hear me calling
I believe in you

-- "I Believe in You" by Steven Curtis Chapman

(Download here, 3.53 MB, 03:44, via YouSendIt.com, link expires in 7 days expired, available upon request)

***

For my mom, who always believes in me, trusts me, and loves me... unconditionally.

Thank you, mom, for your bedtime stories and goodnight kisses. Thank you for laughing with me and crying with me. Thank you for the mornings where you prepare toast with three different kinds of spread, and thank you for always letting me have the first choice.

For all the moms who give of their best in their own special way: Happy Mothers' Day! :)

Umemployed: Day 10

In somewhat Singapore Serf-style, here we go. Hopefully the day count won't go into the hundreds. :) I've been enjoying the break; meeting up with friends, making up for my reading deficit during the sem. In the past month, I've been attending a leadership course at church; incredible amount of work, but it has been hugely rewarding -- I can't even put it in words. Steven Curtis Chapman -- only the singer-songwriter that I absolutely adore and look up to, not just for his music, but for the volumes that his life speaks -- is in town, and I'm off to watch him perform tomorrow night. No matter how many times I watch the "All I Really Want" video, it always reduces me to tears.

Despite all of this, I've been feeling restless by the uncertainty that plagues the future; excited, but restless nonetheless. I know, it's a rite of passage that we all go through, but that doesn't make me feel better. I have an interview lined up this Thursday, and hopefully the opportunities will start coming.

***

In partial fulfilment of another demanding meme, by the ever-persistent Woof!. ;) Dude, I'm really not good at these!

Seven books that I love:
1. Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis
2. A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis
3. Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
4. A Pale View of the Hills by Kazuo Ishiguro
5. Elizabeth Costello by J. M. Coetzee
6. Amazing Gracie by Dan Dye and Mark Beckloff
7. Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris

(I just finished A Pale View of the Hills last week; I can't believe that it's Ishiguro's first book. Pick it up when you get the time -- and I really mean that, because you won't put it down until you're done, and you'll want to read it a second time immediately after.)

Seven movies that I love:
1. Pretty Woman
2. The Miracle Worker
3. In Good Company
4. A Walk to Remember
5. Memento
6. Le Papillon
7. Hotel Rwanda

(I also caught The Miracle Worker recently on VCD, and it is without a doubt the movie to watch. It's an old show, an old story, but so beautifully told. When I was young, I sat through countless The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins re-runs on tape. When I have children of my own, The Miracle Worker will be my choice of television babysitting. Hurhur.)

Justice: the advantage of the stronger?

"This James Gomez," Aunt shook her head in disapproval. "Very bad. Good thing they had video, otherwise the elections department people will be in big trouble. Happened to me at work a few times." (Aunt works as a teller in a local bank.) "This old lady," she continued. "Always come to the bank to withdraw money. After we give her the money, she leaves. Then after a few hours, she comes back and says that we didn't give her the money. Good thing we have video also."

"So what do you do?" I asked.

"Show her the video, lor."

"And what does she say?"

Aunt gave a shrug. "She apologise, lor. I think she does it on purpose, but what can we do? She say sorry already, mah."

Power to the people

Last election, we had a three-way contest in our SMC, which included an independent candidate, but I wasn't old enough to vote. This time around, I'm old enough to vote, but we've since been absorbed into a GRC which saw a walkover by the ruling party, so still no voting for me.

***

It's interesting that I picked up James Surowiecki's The Wisdom of Crowds in the week leading up to the elections. That was completely unintended, and I haven't finished reading it yet, but overall, I do think that Singapore got it right: still an overwhelming majority in the number of seats for the PAP, but a decrease in percentage of popular votes. The internet has proven a valuable resource in this elections, with this being one of the best analysis of the results. More will probably spring up in the days to come.

***

I accompanied Dad and Aunt to one of the opposition rallies; Dad had been faithfully attending every one that he could possibly afford to. He was irritated that our tardiness (traffic jam) had caused him to miss out on the start of the rally.

He listened intently to the speeches, and nodded vigorously after each point was made. Aunt took out her handkerchief and wiped at the beads of sweat that were starting to frame her forehead.

"Why are we here again? It's so hot, so crowded, and we can't even see the stage," Aunt sighed, as she craned her neck in another futile attempt to catch a glimpse of the speakers. "Should have stayed at home. This is not fun at all."

Dad began to engage in political discourse with some other middle-aged men, and I surveyed the packed arena. The audience covered a wide demographic: young and old, men and women. I actually thought it was a breezy night. I was impressed with the speeches; even stripping away all the sound and pomposity, they covered a lot of ground in lucid, intelligent, humourous arguments. The crowd made a lot of noise in support of the WP, but as party chief Low Thia Khiang ended his speech, people started to file out in large numbers; that was interesting, I thought, how they didn't stay to hear the rest of the candidates speak. Well, I did, and quickly understood why; while the rest of the speakers were coherent and pumped, they lacked Low's charisma.

***

On our way home, Aunt complained: "I don't understand these people. The PAP has done so much for us, yet they're not contented. So ungrateful."

But that's not the point, I wanted to say.

"But that's not the point," Dad piped up. "We need the opposition to have any kind of democracy in Singapore. We cannot call ourself a democracy with a one-party rule."

But... that's also not the point, I wanted to say.

Except that right there and then, I realised that that was the point. Not that either of them were correct, but that they both had their reasons, and it would be unfair to say that either of them were "wrong." We all have our reasons -- some of us vote in support, others in protest; some of us worry that people are taking their vote lightly, others are offended by continuous insinuations that we're mindless drones who treat the election process with frivolity. At the end of the day, the people have the right to vote, whatever their reasons, and you have to respect that vote, regardless of whether you agree with their decision, and why they made it.

***

It takes a lot of guts for someone to stand in opposition to the ruling party in such a stronghold as Singapore, and just for doing that, the opposition candidates have earned many points with the voters; everybody loves an underdog, right? The dominance of the PAP has probably worked against them, placing a bigger burden of them to perform. Double standards? Maybe. But the PAP is a tactical expert in exploiting that, so they can't really complain. That's probably been the one most annoying thing for me, and the opposition has quickly picked up on that, leaving the PAP fumbling in their lack of preparation and anticipation -- their underestimation of the opposition, and of the voters.

Chiam See Tong too old? Well, he's not as old as MM Lee.

Low's English not up to standard? The PAP would be hard pressed to find one of their own to match Low in a Chinese debate. (In fact, after hearing the victory speech of one Mr Ong Ah Heng, I am willing to put good money on Low winning a debate with him in any language.)

James Gomez a liar? For all of their insistence on proof that can be held up in a court of law, the PAP has little on Gomez. Was Gomez dishonest? Perhaps. But the point is that we'll never know, and you can have all the video evidence you like, but you cannot prove intent. So please, don't insult your voters; let them decide.

Low took Irene Ng's remarks too personally? There are three opposition MP's! Also, I can think of one or two people in the PAP who've "taken things personally" enough to launch defamation suits.

Tip of the iceberg, baby. Tip of the iceberg.

So I do think that Singapore got it right. The PAP has done many good things, there's no question. But they've also failed in areas of basic respect and decency, and for that, the voters in Singapore have waved their flag of disapproval. Despite Lee Hsien Loong proclaiming that he was "happy" with the "strong mandate" that they've been given, the strained smile on his face was a dead giveaway; he looked like the way I felt when my 'A' level results were released -- disappointed at not having done better, but mostly relieved that he didn't do worse. Hur.

***

Oh, Dad and Aunt didn't get to vote; we stay in the same constituency. It probably wouldn't have mattered, of course; I think their votes would've cancelled each other out. ;)

Finally, congratulations to those who won, and thanks to those who were brave enough to contest. I will continue to pray for wisdom for our government, because in the end, we're all in this together.

***

A fat ox had been selected and placed on display, and members of a gathering crowd were lining up to place wagers on the weight of the ox.

[...]

[Francis] Galton was interested in figuring out what the "average voter" was capable of because he wanted to prove that the average voter was capable of very little.

[...]

Galton undoubtedly thought that the average guess of the group would be way off the mark. After all, mix a few very smart people with some mediocre people and a lot of dumb people, and it seems likely you'd end up with a dumb answer. But Galton was wrong. The crowd had guessed that the ox, after it had been slaughtered and dressed, would weigh 1,197 pounds. After it had been slaughtered and dressed, the ox weighed 1,198 pounds. In other words, the crowd's judgment was essentially perfect.

***

... [U]nder the right circumstances, groups are remarkably intelligent, and are often smarter than the smartest people in them. Groups do not need to be dominated by exceptionally intelligent people in order to be smart. Even if most of the people within a group are not especially well-informed or rational, it can still reach a collectively wise decision. This is a good thing, since human beings are not perfectly designed decision makers... We generally have less information than we'd like. We have limited foresight into the future. Most of us lack the ability -- and the desire -- to make sophisticated cost-benefit calculations. Instead of insisting on finding the best possible decision, we will often accept one that seems good enough. And we often let emotion affect our judgment. Yet despite all these limitations, when our imperfect judgments are aggregated in the right way, our collective intelligence is often excellent.

-- The Wisdom of Crowds by James Surowiecki

***

"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."

-- Margaret Thatcher

Another page is turned

The average Singaporean student, at the end of a four-year university course, would have gone through 16 years of examinations, twice per year, not counting the preliminary exams that make it three in the 'O' and 'A' level years. You would think that given our vast experience with tackling exam papers, that we'd get quite used to it, but it's never ceased to be a huge pain in the ass for me. Occasionally, during the exam period, I get these nightmares: of waking up late and missing a paper, of misreading my calendar and missing a paper -- you get the idea. I am glad to report that they never did realise.

Now that my very last paper has come and gone, though, and the relief and euphoria has somewhat faded away, I feel a dull sense of loss. I don't know what it means to be anything other than a student, and in some stupid, inexplainable way, I wish the exams would come around again for me in November.

***

I mentioned before that, this being our final year, we've been having vastly different schedules, so even as I sit here, with a huge burden lifted off my back, half of my classmates are still ploughing away at their lecture notes. We had a huge, extended lunch last Thursday, after my last paper, which was nice. But the truth is that it had hit us a couple of weeks before -- after our last lesson of the sem -- what this all meant, that after four years, it was time. And just as we began on that very first day -- with the four of us inexplicably gravitating towards each other for friendship in the midst of a huge pool of strangers (and strangeness) -- we spent that rainy afternoon reminiscing over baked rice and pasta. (It was lunch and dinner -- after our lesson that morning, we'd rushed to meet the 5 PM deadline for our final project; we handed it in around 4 PM.)

There are no words with which I can thank them for their friendship and support, for their intimacy and openness. For four girls who have their roots in girls' schools (albeit all in different ones), I think we found in one another a piece of familiarity and understanding, something to call home.

***

So it begins, the job-hunt.