2004

Seeing as how the year is coming to an end, I thought it would be apt to reflect upon the past 364 days. But it's a lot more difficult than I thought it would be; I suppose one of the hazards of being a student is that we very much live in semesters -- half year periods -- rather than in years, so everything before August seems really too long ago to count into the year.

This past year, some of the most important things I've learnt are to pick up the phone and send e-mails -- to those I call friends, but, truthfully, have not kept in touch with very well. I am glad to say that every one of those attempts ended well, and would highly recommend this course of action to anyone -- once you're on a roll, you'll know what I mean.

There is, however, one girlfriend in particular, that I haven't been able to contact. I realised, ashamedly, that after we left secondary school, she'd been the one to initiate all the late-night phone calls. In those days, we didn't have mobile phones, and along the way, I must've misplaced my trusty phone book. I never heard from her again after we left JC; if she took offence that I wasn't making enough effort, she was right, but then she would also probably laugh it off and tell me how silly I am to feel guilty for something like this -- because that's just the wonderful person that she is.

For new friends and old, I have truly been blessed by all of you, and if I have failed you in any way, I can only say that I am sorry, and by God's grace, will do better. Thank you for not giving up on me, for loving me, for praying for me. Thank you for the talks late into the night, right up till we fall asleep. Thank you for keeping me company in the poorly-lit playground, as I fretted and spewed and poured my heart out. Thank you for the soul-baring talks even on short bus rides, that can lead us both to cry -- in all of five minutes. Thank you for sharing in much laughter and good food.

This past year, I have been made to play unwitting mediator in family squabbles. As much as I am always willing to come running at the voice of a distraught parent or daughter, I will also be the first to admit that it causes me much pain. Hearing both sides of their stories, I realised how vastly different a situation can seem to those who choose their sides. I probably didn't help much, other than to sit there, hold their hands, listen to their concerns, and offer a piece of tissue to wipe away their tears.

But it has taught me to be more sensitive towards my own parents -- they have their insecurities that only parents can have, and some of these they would guard with their lives from their own children, for fears of them being realised. Even though it's difficult to understand why parents will always imagine the worst, for now, it's enough for me to just know that they do -- and that every small act of "letting go" is a huge effort on their part to show us how much they trust us.

This past year, I have learnt that courage doesn't just mean standing up and lashing out at an injustice; depending on the situation, it sometimes manifests itself in the restraint to sit down and shut up, and speaking in private to the people involved later on -- above all, it shows respect. I have also learnt that this is much more difficult to practise than it is to reason in theory.

Guys have featured intermittently this year, and apart from the 10-years-my-senior crush, many of the stories are not mine to tell. Some of them have been more special to me than others, and they might not even have known. They have cared much, shared much, and touched my life even more. It's not the same to have a girl tell you that you're beautiful -- if any girl tells you otherwise, they're probably lying. There, I said it. We're not as secure as we may seem. I am awfully grateful for these wonderful friends whom any girl would be blessed to have (the fact that I am unable to refer to them as "men" is purely my fault, and is by no means a reflection of their (occasional) immaturity). Thank you for the phone calls, the walks home, the shoulders to cry and lean on, the hugs, and the company, even when you are all visibly tired. For those of you who are searching, I wish that there were some way that I could help, but know that you are on the right track, and that you will find love (again).

I suppose there are a thousand other things that I have missed out and messed up, but this year I have been blessed much, and I cannot begin to express how thankful I am to be given second chances many times over -- so I guess that pretty much overwhelms all the imperfections that this year has had. I can say, with full honesty, that this year has been one of the best -- and the next can only get better. Thank You, God, for loving me with such absurd passion. Thank You for walking with me, holding my hand, carrying me, every single step of the way.

Donations IV

Here are some other convenient ways to donate (via Today). Administrative fees for both providers are waived.

Singtel:
$10 donations at 1900-112-1226 or *1226
$50 donations at 1900-112-1227 or *1227

M1:
$10 donations: SMS DONATE to 8880

Three

A meme via A L. :)

Three names you go by:
1. Cow
2. Mooster
3. Pearl (in English and Chinese, urgh)

Three screennames you have:
1. laughingcow
2. laughingcowcheese
3. meil

Three things you like about yourself:
1. That I can laugh at myself
2. That I don't waste food (hur hur)
3. That I can pronounce "salmon"

Three things you dislike about yourself:
1. That I procrastinate too much (doesn't everybody?)
2. My propensity for crying
3. My big feet

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Chinese
2. Hokkien
3. Rowdy family dinners

Three things that scare you:
1. Lizards
2. Walking home alone late at night
3. Waiting for the release of examination results

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Glasses or contact lenses
2. My mobile phone
3. My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Old secondary school PE shirt
2. Black and white shorts (from a rugby tournament)
3. Um, Adidas sports bra?

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
1. Switchfoot
2. Steven Curtis Chapman
3. Caedmon's Call

Three things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Getting a 5.0 CAP
2. Not falling down
3. Loving more

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Communication
2. Honesty
3. Sensitivity

Two truths and a lie (random order):
1. I've swallowed a pencil by accident
2. I've eaten raw horse meat
3. I got into three accidents in the month after I got my driving licence

Three physical things about the opposite (or same) sex that appeals to you:
1. Sensible haircut
2. Or a shaved head
3. Big hands

Three things you just can't do:
1. Keep my desk tidy for one semester
2. Dance (yeah, me too)
3. Eat sea cucumber

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Reading
2. Driving aimlessly with good music
3. Blogging

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
1. Get my modules without the hassle and uncertainty of bidding
2. Make time stand still before the semester begins
3. Eat sushi

Three careers you're considering:
1. Chemical engineer (surprise)
2. Tree surgeon (a career test we took in JC actually turned this up)
3. Something more interesting

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Croatia
2. Prague
3. San Francisco

Three kids' names:
1. Jordan
2. Jeremiah
3. Joshua

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Visit the places mentioned above
2. Name my kids as above
3. Tell people about my blog (maybe just before I die)

This is a lot tougher than it looks!

Okay, I sort of cheated. Sorry about that last question, A L. Still enjoying the quiet before people start finding this, so we don't get too many visitors for now. ;)

Donations III

More donation sites via Google (also lists sites of information) and Mr Brown.

Over 76,700 deaths and climbing, with the International Red Cross forecasting the eventual figure to exceed 100,000. Survivors struggle with hunger and disease.

[Edit: Another list by CNN.]

The others

My dad called his friends in Penang, and whilst they and their families are safe, their boats are gone. These are not rich people; they have lost their only source of livelihood, and have little savings to sustain them.

With all the of the resources channelled into helping immediate victims, albeit justifiably so, what kind of aid will these families be getting? What is left for them?

There are millions homeless from the disaster -- and more affected in ways that we will never know -- who have escaped death only to find it waiting around the corner, in the form of disease and starvation.

Death

All I can do is sit by and watch the death toll rise. Up to 68,000 now, and suddenly it seems all too probable that the number will double -- it won't take long, either.

And I suddenly realise that Stalin was right. We rounded. Up or down, it doesn't matter. We've just been rounding off figures, rounding off the one or two lives like they don't matter.

NYDC

55,000 deaths confirmed and rising. Fast. Here is another appeal for donations by the Sri Lanka Airlines (via A L).

***

We had dinner at the new NYDC (outside The Heeren) tonight, courtesy of M, who'd scored the highest among us this examinations. Congratulations! :)

45 minutes after we'd placed our order, and after politely requesting the waitress to check on our food a couple of times, we were informed that there was a "mix up," and that our order had just been received by the kitchen.

We huddled around to discuss -- amused, more than anything else. Then someone wondered out loud if perhaps we should request for free food, but how do you do that without sounding cheap, really? "Can you give us free food?" sounds so... Singaporean. Hur hur.

Anyway, we did finally come up with a script, just to see if they would give us free brownie(s). It was a performance that took us more than you can imagine, just to keep our faces straight. It worked, and dessert was on the house -- although whether or not it came with free spit, we will never know. It was the wrong brownie too, from the one we ordered, but we figured we wouldn't complain anymore since it was free.

The rest of the night even saw the manager waiting on us hand and foot, checking in every five minutes to see if "everything was okay," and taking pains to arrange our cutlery with impeccable precision, leaving us even more bemused, and frankly, a little bewildered.

Now you know. Ask for your free brownie.

Donations II

In addition to the earlier entry, Mercy Relief are also collecting donations as follows:

Cross cheques to "Mercy Relief" at 36, Purvis Street, #02-03, Singapore 188613.

$10 donations at 1900-911-1110.

$50 donations at 1900-911-1150.

(via Prime Time Morning)

Edison chips!

Edison chips -- all the way from China. Thanks, H. :) I don't care what everyone else says, these are the best potato chips I've ever tasted!

Donations

Singapore Red Cross Society: Humanitarian assistance to the victims of the Bay of Bengal earthquake and tidal waves (via A L)

Short takes

Suffering from fatigue and tryptophan overload, so this is my Christmas season in short. At the same time, let's pray for the quake victims. Death toll has risen to over 23,000 and more tsunamis are expected in the next two days.

24th -- Christmas Eve: Christmas Eve Dinner with family. Did some very last-minute shopping which saw cranberry sauce sold out at both Cold Storage and NTUC. Turkey count: One.

25th -- Christmas Day: Christmas service at church. Lunch at Marché. Dinner at uncle's house with rest of extended family. Turkey count: Two.



My uncle always takes care of the smallest details: down to the centrepieces.




Baby Ben gets tons of presents underneath the Christmas tree on his first Christmas.


26th -- Boxing Day: Church in the morning. More last-minute shopping for ice-cream. Prepared ridiculous amounts of food. Steamboat dinner with JC classmates. Won four out of four at Taboo. Got lost in Woodlands whilst sending people home. Watched Super Size Me with those who decided to stay over. Slept close to 7 AM. Turkey count: Three.



Forfeit drink which my friend and I concocted but -- thankfully -- never got to drink. A cocktail of wheat germ, coffee, Bovril, and apple cider vinegar. Apologies if anyone got diarrhoea from drinking it.


27th -- Back to business: Awoke late afternoon. Cleaned up mess from last night. Half-packed room. Had dinner. Received phone call from cousin to ask where we were. Had clean forgotten about a wedding dinner we were due to attend. Arrived at Trader's Hotel at 9 PM. Missed the first dish, but otherwise proceeded to have dinner for the second time. Turkey count: Leftovers.

Close to home

My sister called last evening, from Australia, to make sure everyone was okay. The Australian news had apparently reported casualties in Singapore. I'd heard about an earthquake in Indonesia on the news earlier in the afternoon, but I'd also been scrambling to get things together for yesterday night's steamboat; it never occurred to me that whilst I was taking a shower, getting ready for church, the fourth biggest quake of the century was also taking place.

The death toll has passed 16,000 as we speak, and the thing about death tolls is that the only way they can go is up. I had to blink my eyes a couple of time, looking at the numbers. And for a while, no tears even came, as my mind rushed to fathom what that meant.

The disasters are striking closer to home, and the heart hurts more, for these we call our neighbours. I cannot quite imagine how and why we were spared, I can only be thankful that I can write these words and cry these tears. We could have no complaints even if we were hit, you know? After all, what is it that sets apart the person who is mourning for the loss of his whole family, and the person who is snug in bed after a seafood feast the night before? Virtue of location of birth?

In the midst of being both grieved and thankful, my heart also feels an almost-guilt -- that whilst so many are burying their loved ones, mine are still just a touch away, a phone call away; that whilst so many are helpless and homeless, my only worry on hand is to plan for next semester's modules.

I'm not entitled to all these luxuries that I take for granted, and somehow, they have not been taken away from me. And perhaps what I feel most guilty for, is that it took the lives of so many to remind me of how rich I am.

God's love story

"Whither thou goest, I will follow."

I cried bucketfuls reading this. Please go away, Hollywood. This is what love is.

Merry Christmas!

My Christmas blessing to you. Much love and God bless. :)

The peace of a sleeping baby
The joy in a new mother's eyes
And the hope of a million tomorrows
Be found in your heart tonight
May the angels who sang glory
Be always at your side
And may you find in Christ the Saviour
The reason why

May the star shine bright this evening
To show you where He's laid
And if the road is long, and you're tempted
To give the search away
Know the King has also travelled
From a palace fair, on high
May you find in Christ the Saviour
The reason why

-- "The Reason Why" by Russell Fragar

Gingerbread hearts

Gingerbread hearts. Same batch, different shape. A gift for a friend. :)

Gingerbread bears

Gingerbread bears. Tis the season. Couldn't find cookie cutters to make gingerbread men, but I found some other ones lying around. Strangely enough, the ones that looked undercooked turned out tasting better. Gotta find a way to make them look and taste good.

Presents! :)

Whee! Presents for me! :)

Diarrhoea vs Nausea

Maybe I shouldn't have finished that tub of ice-cream while watching E.R. last night. My head started spinning and .37123 seconds after I swallowed that Panadol capsule, I threw up my breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

It's one of the worst feelings, the inability to escape from the smell of puke (even if it is your own), which makes you want to vomit even more -- a cruel cycle.

I'll take diarrhoea over nausea anytime.

Movie reviews -- Le Papillon, Wimbledon

Seeing as how the year is going to end, I'm going to stick my head out and say that Le Papillon is the best movie I've watched this year. I cannot imagine there exists anyone so cynical in the world, that Le Papillon cannot warm his heart even a little bit. I borrowed the VCD from a friend, who told me to "watch it for the adorable little girl, and the beautiful scenery, if nothing else," so that's all the expectation I dared bring -- nothing else. But then I found myself laughing and crying, and not wanting the movie to end. That's about the best I can describe it.

Wimbledon, of course, paled in comparison afterwards, yet wasn't as cheesy as I'd expected. I rather enjoyed it, but have since filed it under the likes of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: sweet but very forgettable. Paul Bettany was a wonderful casting choice.

I'm coming to the realisation that half of how much you enjoy a movie is in the expectation you bring along. No wonder I find myself often disappointed at the "must watch" movies, and pleasantly surprised at the more obscure ones. So I have ruined both shows for you. Alright, then.

E.R.

E.R. is on tonight at 11 PM after The Amazing Race on Channel 5!

Once again, almost zero publicity from the big guys, except for the measly article on Noah Wyle (whose name they spelt wrongly). Mediacorp must've been usurped by The OC fans.

Two seasons behind the US, and I'm jumping for joy; see how little it takes to make me happy? I'm just afraid that they may stop bringing it back altogether.

Christmas meme!

A Christmas meme (via Danielle).

Be warned. Boring answers ahead.

1. Who do you want to be under the mistletoe with?
My future husband.

2. What are your favourite Christmas memories?
One Christmas, when I was five or six, my dad bought two life-sized Minnie Mouse (Mice?) -- decked in red and green -- for me and my sister from Disneyland, which we dragged around for the longest time. I loved snuggling up to Minnie; the six of us (four of us plus two mice) squeezed onto the couch, watching TV. I wonder how my mom would feel if I suggested digging Minnie out now.

More recently, we put reindeer horns on Rocky, and were amazed to find that he totally didn't mind! If I can find them horns, I'll post some picture of a reindog just so you know I have the cutest dog in the world. ;)

3. Where would you rather spend Christmas this year?
Somewhere with snow. I've always wanted that -- despite how ridiculously afraid of the cold I am.

4. What is your favourite Christmas song?
"O Little Town of Bethlehem"

5. What do you usually do Christmas morning?
Go to church for Christmas service, without fail, for as long as I can remember. Everyone's welcome to come if they want.

6. Have you bought all your presents yet?
Yep. I sent my sister's presents to her last week, and yesterday I bought presents for the rest of the family. (I am now the proud holder of a Toys "R" Us card.) That's all I'm buying. Difficult to get presents that really mean something -- so I'd rather not force it. They know I love them. I bought Christmas crackers for friends that I'm getting together with for Christmas, just for fun. :) We agreed not to get each other anything expensive, although some of them violated it. Thank God for friends who flout no-present rules! ;)

7. What do you do on Christmas Eve?
Huge family gathering on my dad's side. Besides the usual turkey and mashed potatoes, we also almost always have sushi!

8. Do you spend Christmas with a lot of family?
Christmas Eve, yes. Christmas is just us -- down to four now that my sister isn't coming home for Christmas.

9. Do you go anywhere special on Christmas (vacation)?
We used to travel every end of the year -- nowhere fancy, usually just to Malaysia; Penang was a favourite spot. But after my dad got retrenched and started his own business, he hasn't been able to take vacations long enough to travel. But it's all cool. I really hate packing and unpacking.

10. What do you usually eat on Christmas?
Leftover turkey from Christmas Eve.

11. When did you find out that Santa wasn't real?
Never believed, and can't quite imagine other people did.

12. Do you still make snowmen and snow angels?
What snow?

13. Do you still have snow ball fights with your siblings/parents?
We had... fights -- does that count?

14. What's your favourite Christmas movie?
Home Alone. I blame Channel 5.

15. What do you like doing over the Christmas holidays?
Putting up the Christmas tree, shopping for presents, cranking up the air-con and snuggling under the covers with a good book and chock full of hot chocolate -- my mock winter.

16. What do you plan to do for New Year's Eve?
I'll be at Watchnight service in church. :)

17. What are your usual traditions on New Year's?
We scorn New Year traditions. Once, my sister and I deliberately went to bed at 11 PM just so we could say "We were sleeping" when anyone asked where we went for countdown.

18. Got any resolutions?
Love more.

19. What's the weirdest thing you've ever got for Christmas?
A very strange-looking Christmas tree decoration from my uncle. We never hung it up, and had it stashed away in our storeroom, until a few weeks ago when we cleared it out and subsequently threw it away.

20. What's the most expensive thing you've got for Christmas?
Jesus. Coming in a far second is the Minnie Mouse.

21. How early do you wake up on Christmas morning?
8 AM. Christmas service, baby!

22. What do you usually get in your stocking?
No stockings, but usual presents (and they are goooood) include things off my wishlist, and money when people run out of ideas. ;)

[Edit: My dad has just clarified that the Minnie Mouses were a gift from his German friends. Ooh.]

Star sighting

We saw Chen Hanwei at Taka today. :) I've voted for the guy in the Star Awards every year save one. The one year I didn't vote, I bump into him. (He also didn't win.) Yep, this year.

To this day, the thought of him as Fang lao shi makes me gurgle uncontrollably. Don't ask. We all have our weaknesses, okay?

Salmon heaven

Salmon appetizer from Spizza. I could eat this for every meal, every day, and never be sick of it.

The reason why I'd make a terrible photographer is that I get sidetracked by food really quickly. After the salmon came, I completely abandoned my camera.

Likewise last night's feast at a girlfriend's house.

Roses

Beautiful roses from Z. Mmm. Thanks, babe.

Procky

Malaysia's answer to Pocky.

Pretty nails

Pretty nails from last night's sleepover (another one, I know!). Must. Resist. Urge. To. Buy. Nail. Stamping. Kit.

Another meme!

The iTunes shuffle meme (via A L). Yay, another meme!

1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the "shuffle" command.
4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That's right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It's time for total musical honesty.
5. Write it up in your blog or journal and link back to at least a couple of other sites where you saw this.
6. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurances. You don't have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of ten songs with five artists, you can if you'd like.

Hur hur, I didn't even read 6 before plunging in. So I do have a couple of repeats. Honestly, no skipping. A few close calls, but nothing too embarrassing came up, although I was totally not aware I still had Emil Chau in my computer! Here we go:

1. "All" by Hillsong
2. "Still" by Hillsong
3. "Be Thou My Vision" -- Instrumental (Artist unknown)
4. "Centre of My Life" by Hillsong
5. "Ai Xiang Sui" by Emil Chau
6. "Silent Night" by The Miracles
7. "All Consuming Fire" by Jennifer Knapp
8. "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon
9. "You've Got a Way" by Shania Twain
10. "Once in a Lifetime" by Kenny Loggins and Human Nature

Movie reviews -- Mean Girls, Alfie

Mean Girls was surprisingly good. It was a mindless chick flick, but at least it was one that attempted a noble moral behind the "story." Hilarious if you're in a good mood; I was. Except for the ending which perpetuated the myth that the only happily-ever-after ending to a prom is to have every one paired up; no doubt that has brought not small amounts of loneliness and misery to single teenage (and not-so-teenaged) girls.

But the applause for the night was reserved for Alfie, which we almost didn't watch. Would you believe we (by "we," I mean "everyone else") almost chose Harold & Kumar instead? Urgh.

Alfie casts Jude Law as a very swinging bachelor, whose life -- at the start of the movie -- consists only of, in his words, wine and women. "What's it all about?" reads the DVD cover, and so Alfie finally finds himself asking, at the end of the movie: "So what's the answer? What is it all about?"

Other than a couple of excessive scenes, I thought that it was quite beautifully played out. Even though some of my friends were peeved at the ending -- or seeming lack of -- it was clearly the only way it could have ended. Who would Alfie have been better off with? Liz, the older woman with a fetish for younger guys (the younger the better)? Nikki, his self-destructive ex who was "like a beautiful structure, damaged in a way that you don't notice until you get too close"? Julie, the single mom who wanted more from him? Lonette, his best friend's wife whom he got pregnant?

I was glad that he looked up the old man that he met in the men's room. Even though the exchange between the two left me a tad disappointed, I think the greater significance is that he sought the old man out.

So what was the answer? Clearly, the writers didn't know, much less Alfie. The answer is not living your life for the moment, the way you please, indulging in every pleasure you can find on earth, as long as it "doesn't hurt anybody." It's not always up to us whether we hurt others. That much Alfie found out, and that's all he could tell us -- what the answer is not.

What was the answer? I'll let you in on a secret, the answer is: Jesus.

"One hit," Alfie reasoned (with himself more than anyone else) when Nikki offered him a puff, after he'd sworn to clean up his health, physically, at least. I don't know how many people who watched the movie remembered that fleeting scene, but it stuck with me. That's the reason why bad habits are so hard to break, resolutions hard to keep. One hit. Just one hit. We don't have that strength. Not on our own. It's never just one hit.

Timeline

A timeline thing that's been floating around LJ for a while. This might be the first meme I'm doing since I've moved (back) here from D-X.

Ten years ago, I:
1. moved into my current house
2. adopted Rocky
3. never expected a dog to change my life (see 2)

Five years ago, I:
1. took my 'O' Levels
2. graduated from the school that I'd spent a very good 10 years
3. cried at the thought of being separated from my friends

One year ago, I:
1. fretted over examination results
2. thanked God for Dad's discharge from the hospital on Christmas Eve
3. made one of the hardest and most heartbreaking decisions

So far this year, I:
1. gained a nephew
2. held down a real job that wasn't in my dad's office nor giving tuition to kids
3. flew alone for the first time, to visit my little sister in Australia

Yesterday, I:
1. woke up at 4 AM to send my aunt to the airport
2. became chauffeur and maid for the rest of the day
3. shopped for groceries and baked

Today, I:
1. worked half the day at my dad's office whilst half-asleep
2. ate lunch and slept
3. will be off to a girls' night out with secondary school friends

Tomorrow, I will:
1. rush out Christmas cards
2. decide whether to go shopping with some other friends
3. have Christmas dinner with uni classmates

In one year, I will:
1. be in my final year in the U
2. hopefully have picked up the guitar
3. see most of my friends graduate and going on to work

In five years, I will:
1. hopefully have a nice job that doesn't involve daily inhalation of poisonous fumes
2. hopefully be married
3. hopefully have twins! ;)

Liverpool 3 - Newcastle 1

Festive cheer at Anfield as Reds beat Toon

Would you believe I walked away from this match after 30 minutes? Yes, a minute before the goals started flowing.

The past few days have really been exhausting -- in and out of hospitals and airports. And despite my best efforts, it all began to crumble when a group of 20 sweaty men crowded around our table to watch the match. Willing spirit, weak flesh.

X: "Aiyah, there are not going to be any goals, lah..."

Me: "You might not want to say that so loudly." (Amongst a crowd whose money is probably in a high scoring match.)

Still, it's a good result. But what we really need to do is to get our act together for away matches.

Words

J: "Eat less, sleep more."

Words of wisdom (or not) from a dear friend. Thanks, J.

Cheese, Onion, and Mushroom Flan

Cheese, Onion, and Mushroom Flan from Veggie Kids.

It was good, and got thumbs up all around. But the next time I will try using plain flour instead. Wholemeal did not go down well with me.

I only used half the cooked vegetables; the good thing is that it tastes great, so throwing some tau gua into the remaining vege mixture meant that we had a whole new dish! :)

Childhood

Dad insisted on going back to the office after his eye surgery yesterday, despite our attempts to talk him out of it. I peered at the rear mirror every five seconds to make sure he was okay; he kept his eyes closed, rubbing his temples. I half-wanted to just turn back and drive him home, but I was afraid he'd get mad, and it probably wasn't the best time to agitate him then. 10 minutes into the journey, he opened his eyes lazily, "Do you think we should go home?"

No, Dad, we've just been telling you that for the past couple of hours.

"Yes."

"Okay. Let's go home," he finally said, as though we'd twisted his arm.

This morning, on the way back from his check-up, he'd again asked to go to the office. Again, we told him he'd better rest, but our suggestions were rebuffed. You can check your e-mail at home. I have work to do in the office. What is more important than getting well? I have work to do in the office.

Thank you, God, for some software that Dad had left at home, that he needed for work. The moment we reached home (with Dad intending to pick up the CD and leave), he headed straight for bed and conked out in a matter of seconds.

With my dad absent from work, and no outstanding deliveries for the week, my mom stayed home too. If I had any doubt that Christmas has come early this year, we all stayed home and played board games. We laughed and played like I was six all over again. Mom won at Scrabble, my brother won at Uno, and I won a day of reliving my childhood.

Merry merry Christmas. :)

O Little Town of Bethlehem

"O Little Town of Bethlehem" is my favourite Christmas song to sing. I've just realised, however, that I do not own any audio form of the song. This Christmas, for reasons unknown to (and somewhat unplanned by) me, I will be having a couple of gatherings at home, and I really do want the song to be played at some time or another -- if nothing else, just so that I can sing to it.

Last minute, I know.

Doesn't it always seem that when you want something urgently, simple searches on the internet never work anymore? The best I found -- that can be inferred from a 30-second clip, anyway -- is one by Jaci Velasquez. If anyone else has something better to recommend, please do.

Time for a trip down to Trumpet Praise.

Poverty

"We have the cash, we have the drugs, we have the science -- but do we have the will? Do we have the will to make poverty history?"

Early Christmas presents

Christmas has come early for me this year. Mom's surgery went well. Dad's surgery went well. And the second opinion on Rocky's lump is that it doesn't warrant an operation.

Thank You, God. :)

Christmas tree at TMC.




Christmas tree at SGH.

Once a day

Me: "So you have to take this (medicine) daily?"

Dad: "No, lah. Just once a day!"

Me: "..."

Built-in cameras

The good thing about built-in cameras in mobile phones is that you can take photos of cute spiders when you're on the bus...

Drowning

Another song that's stuck in my head now is Brian McKnight's "One Last Cry." Probably because I heard Camille Velasco singing in on American Idol 3 repeats. I guess the one comfort is that it is slowly drowning out the Ping Pong "Song," which can only be a good thing.

Necessity

"I would be in the direst of dire straits, facing a bleak future, when some small thing, some detail, would transform itself and appear in my mind a new light. It would no longer be the small thing it was before, but the most important thing in the world, the thing that would save my life."

-- Life of Pi by Yann Martel

Girls' night in

The girls stayed over last night, and since I'm still pooped from the lack of sleep, I'll let the pictures do (most of) the talking.

We did girly things like read girly magazines (yes, even Chinese ones!)...




Paint one another's nails...






Some turned out better...






Than others...




We baked egg tarts... (salt and vinegar chips and popcorn in the top right corner)




Which became our supper and breakfast... yum! :)




We watched endless hours of TV, worked our way through chips, popcorn, and candy floss, and lights were out at, like, 6 AM. Thank you, babes, for all the laughter, and for the cramps from squeezing all the five of us onto one queen-sized bed. We should do this more often.

P.S. For the life of me, I cannot get the "I wanna be Miss Ping Pong, Ping Pong..." song (if it even is a song) out of my head.

Book review -- Life of Pi

Yann Martel's Life of Pi is like no other piece of fiction I've read. I am as much in awe of Martel's storytelling as I am with Salman Rushdie's mastery of language.

The biggest challenge, perhaps, is in sticking it out. The value of the novel is not immediately obvious, but therein lies the beauty of its storytelling. During Pi's mundane routine of fish-catching and tiger-taming, my mind raced to think of what other books I could compare this against. I momentarily regretted never having read Robinson Crusoe, well, at least, nothing beyond the children's Ladybird version of it.

Joseph Conrad's Typhoon came to mind, but there was little to compare; Conrad told his story on the back of his experiences as a sailor, and whilst I have yet to read up on Martel, I'm guessing that all the experience he needed for his novel was to spend a month in the company of a pet dog or cat. His imagination, from then on, was the tool he used to perfection. Apples and oranges, really.

The promise to make the reader "believe in God," caused widespread disappointment, but that is only because they have mistaken this promise to be Martel's; it is, in fact, Pi's promise, and part of the storytelling. For all my praises, I cannot quite believe (nor expect) that anyone who did not believe in God, would be converted as a result of this novel. (And if they did, it would be a terribly false impression of God, but that is a different debate altogether.)

If I could pick out one other flaw, it would be the theological inaccuracies. Martel, having worked his storytelling prowess to such sublimity, could have so easily avoided this; He could have brought his novel one step closer to perfection.

I always feel that the personality of the reader is an essential factor in determining how deeply a book impacts him or her. So whilst I would never actually say that it's a book that you absolutely have to read, I do think that the refreshingness of this novel is worthy of any try.

For me, it was awfully tedious to read, yet rewarding enough, in the end, to justify the arduousness. It also restored my dying hope in novels, and for that, it gets a 9/10 (in storytelling) from me.

Dear Flickr

Dear Flickr,

Remember when you said that the photographs older than the latest 100 would not be included in our photostream, but could still be directly linked to? Yeah. Then remember how you just changed your mind about that without any notice at all? Yeah. If you'd told me that earlier, I would've taken my photos to Webshots.

But you know how annoying it can be to move those photos, and I know this is just your way of making us buy the exorbitantly-priced Pro account; I would just like to say: not fun at all.

Love (or not),
Me

Anal McLooney

Elliot (distressed): Huh, I put all those flyers up and no one wants me to live with them!

J.D.: Oh come on, Elliot, I'm sure you'll eventually find a roommate who's a clean non-smoking vegetarian that rinses the shower thoroughly after each usage.

Elliot: Well, if you don't, it gets mildewy.

J.D.: You should live with my friend Anal McLooney.

-- Scrubs, Season 2, Episode 10 (My Monster)

Best show in the world. Elliot's the perfect roommate for my sister.

Just like old times

Been a long time since our last extended family outing. Dinner last night, and then a trip to Mustafa Shopping Centre tonight showed that nothing much had changed.

My uncle came up with a new health dessert, which was surprisingly good. Avocado and wheat grass juice beaten together, topped with strawberries and coconut milk. I know, it sounds like horrible green goo, but it wasn't. It was quite yummy green goo -- although I'm not sure it qualifies as a dessert. I'm not sure anything healthy should be classified as dessert.

We found out the real reason for last night's gathering, which was to celebrate my other uncle's birthday. We also found out that two of my aunts had their birthdays in December too, so we sang the birthday song three times.

Everyone continued to fawn over Baby Ben, in whose laughter resounded such a beautiful innocence. The birth of Baby Ben has forever changed the mood of these once-dreaded gatherings.

The TV set in our living room finally gave way, so we decided to make our way down to Mustafa Shopping Centre to get a new one.

"The widest variety!" exclaimed my dad, the shopping-enthusiast. "Can shop two hours for a TV set..."

I don't know why he said it like it was a good thing. Our aunties got wind of it, and decided they had to buy things from Mustafa too, so we picked them up along the way.

Navigating the streets were tricky; it was as though all of the jaywalkers in the country had decided to congregate in the area. We had to drive at snail's pace, what with the absence of sunlight, and cars and pedestrians dashing out from every corner. At one junction, as I stopped to let the pedestrians cross (illegally), my brother burst out laughing. We had our first telepathic exchange, when we blurted out at the same time: "The Amazing Race!"

As irony would have it, our shopping trip ended with both aunties, shopping bags in tow, and us, with no TV set. You really don't want to know.

On our way home, we quarrelled about where to go for supper, about which route to take, and about what food to eat. In other words, it was just like old times.

Young men, be warned!

Young men are warned about laptop risk

Quotable: "Even without turning the laptop on, the scrotal temperature rose by 2.1 degrees Centigrade when the young men sat with their thighs together to balance the computer on their lap."

Consider yourself quoted

On arguably the most (in)famous blog this nation has to offer:

"Why do I feel like I'm reading porn?"

-- X

Guess how much it cost

Me (showing off my goggles): "Guess how much it cost, cheapest one in the shop! $7.90!"

M: "You are scaring us with your 'auntie' tendencies..."

Me: "What 'auntie' tendencies?!"

M: "Like how every other sentence that comes out of your mouth starts with 'Guess how much it cost'..."

Me: "... But it was a steal! I mean, come on, $7.90 for TYR goggles! Sure, the bright yellow is a little orbid..."

M: "Uh huh."

Better to share

My dad brought home gyoza for supper. It amazed me how happy it made him. I mean, he was beaming, all from buying home supper for his wife and kids. And it isn't just tonight. Every time he buys back something good to eat, or finds some other obscure bargain, it really just lights his face up to buy these things for us; like a discovery -- a secret -- that he can't wait to share with us.

Better to give than to receive? Gotta see it to believe it.

NUS to raise tuition fees

NUS, NTU to raise tuition fees by 5% from 2005 academic year

Figures they would raise tuition fees for my final year. Pfft.

Barkeries

Sergios Bakery & Happy Dog Bakery.

The Three Dog Bakeries of Singapore. :)

Lost

I lost a second cross pendant today; it just fell off my chain. I'm not frazzled: it was just a pendant, but then it was also a birthday present from my sister. The first thing I thought of when I realised that it was gone, was that this will be the first Christmas that I'll be spending without her. I secretly hope this is all a joke and that she will surprise us by turning up on Christmas Day (or Eve, or any day, really). It hasn't quite hit me, but when it does, you can be sure I'll be crying bucketfuls. In case you hadn't realised, it doesn't take much for that to happen, much less having my favourite person missing from my favourite time of the year.

I have another two cross pendants hanging around -- both gifts, and now you know why. Time to dust one of them off. Ho ho ho.

P.S. You can buy me something to cheer me up.

Playing the piano

Working in the office is like playing the piano, except that the keys have letters on them, and they call it data entry.

Charity movie marathon

YES 933 Movie Charathon

In aid of the Muscular Dystrophy Association Singapore.

Survey

Singapore Idol survey

Win a pair of movie tickets!

Cynicism

I was just wondering about what they say about misery, and if it is true for cynicism as well. Do cynics enjoy the company of other cynics, or do they (secretly) want to hear of hope?

Christmas presents

I'd like to see if I can get everyone presents this Christmas. It's difficult, because I don't just want to get them presents, I want to get them presents that will mean something. I've bought a total of three presents so far, and they were accidental buys -- you know, instances where you didn't really set out to buy anything in particular, but then you stumble upon something that you think would be perfect for someone you know. I need more of those.

Finger stomach

You know how, sometimes, while shopping for accessories, you try on a ring or two for fun? ...Yeah.

Me (struggling): "Oh no! The ring is stuck! I can't get it off my finger!"

X: "Just twist it! Slowly..."

Me: "I can't! It's not twisting! It's not moving at all!"

X: "Okay okay, suck in your breath and hold it there!"

Me (incredulously): "That will make my finger skinnier?!"

X: "You have a better idea?!"

Book review -- The Lovely Bones

Countless times during the course of reading, I wanted to put The Lovely Bones down. The words had struck a raw nerve. It wasn't just that I cried -- it caused me physical pain; my heart ached at the painful memories. It is safe to say that I will not be re-reading this book. Ever.

Despite the heartache, I wanted to like this book. Alice Sebold, for the most part, constructed the novel with an impeccable sense of timing, but 298 pages were undone by the unbelievably anti-climatic and ludicrous ending. I went from having a mental rating of 9/10 for the book, to giving it a big fat zero, all in the span of one sentence on page 299. It felt very much like how I went into M. Night Shyamalan's Signs, expecting something worthy of the high expectations that we'd been fed, only to be robbed of it by having everything attributed to aliens. I felt cheated; as did I, with The Lovely Bones.

My world

In my ideal world, everyone would read Amazing Gracie, then they'd go out and adopt a dog (or two, or three), and love them for the rest of their lives.

No matter how many times I read it, it never fails to turn me into a pool of water. As I scuttered over to my desk to get some tissue before the tears fell, I stubbed my big toe and broke the toenail.

I did what any other person would do: scotch-taped the toenail back into place.

And then I continued to cry.

Ode to Lecturers

"Chicken Wing" was so called because of his surname. He was also given the nickname of "Backside Man" later on during the semester because that was all we saw of him. He talked to the white board, with his back facing us, all throughout the one-hour long tutorial. The Wing would come into class, spend half the period writing out the answers on the board, ponder over them (all this time, back facing us), and then proceed to erase the entire board, mumbling to himself, "Wrong, all wrong!" only to realise later on that it was all correct. We also haven't quite forgiven him for telling us that the Convolution Theory would not be tested in the exam, because, well, it was. Imagine our disgust -- and sudden drop in class attendence -- when he walked into class the first lesson of the following semester.

"Taxi Driver" was an elderly figure, and although I did feel a little guilty for stereotyping, even I had to admit that he fitted the taxi driver demographic to a T. He was chatty and constantly spraying his saliva all over the overhead projector. My grandfather fell ill, and during one lecture, the T.D. reminded me so much of him, that I couldn't hold back the tears. I've had a soft spot for him ever since.

"Sergeant Tan"'s last name wasn't even Tan, but we called him that because of his uncanny resemblance to Marcus Chin's character of the same name. "To get to Pond A (Point A) to Pond B (Point B), we have to heat it to 100 degrees Celsius," he would say, with a straight face. To which you could hear responses of "Wouldn't that kill all the frogs?"

"Terry" tutored us for one semester, and his nickname was coined within five minutes of the lesson, because of how much he looked like Huang Po-Ju's character in Jack Neo's I Not Stupid. His lessons were always a cause of distress for me, because I got made fun of the most. The only comforting thing, I guess, was that he called me his "favourite student," but then he also called me a lot of other things. Hey, that is a story for another time, because this entry is about making fun of the teachers.

"Char shao bao" (because of that paunch) or "Chihuahua" (because of his, um, name) set the best tests ever. Almost everyone got full marks for his tests, and I doubt anyone scored below 95%. It wasn't possible. Open-book with the questions identical to the textbook questions? I don't know what he was trying to do, but I did well for his module, so I have no complaints.

"Wu ding," or "Rooftop" in Chinese, was so called as a pun on his name; it didn't help that he had a shiny bald plate that you could spot from a mile away. To this day, my classmates still break into the Jay Chou song of the same name whenever he walks past; the rest of us would break out into not-too-subtle guffaws, much to the bewilderment of Prof "Wu ding."

"Yang yang," or "The Psycho," had a smile that could send chills down anyone's back, and not in a good way. He chose the most perculiar anecdotes to share, and even more perculiar moments to flash his lop-sided grin. Like the time when he told us of how an engineer got doused with hot phenol during the course of some routine inspections; something about how he ended off the (tragic!) story with that smile of his made us want to call the police.

"Laksa" is the best lecturer/tutor we have had by a mile. It is not possible to find anyone in the cohort who would dispute this. But this, apparently, did not stop us from finding nicknames for the guy. We did, also, start to call him "Woodstock" towards the end of the semester, because of a tuft of hair that perpetually stuck out at the top of his head, despite apparent attempts to gel it down. The cutest.

"Micro-mini underwear" was one of our favourite tutors, until he sank us all during the Question and Answer section of our lab presentation weeks before the final exam. His miniscule handwriting on the board prompted a friend to grudgingly mumble, "Do his words have to be that small?" To which I answered (unthinkingly, and a little too loudly), "Maybe it's because his underwear is too tight." To this day, we still call him "Micro-mini underwear," even though it's almost four times as many syllables as how we would otherwise address him.

"Tu di gong gong" was the creepiest lecturer, with his leering glances, slimy "heh heh heh"'s, and constant licking of his lips. His lectures were constantly half full (or half empty), and understandably so; all his lectures did was to confuse us. We were even advised, unofficially, of course, by a tutor, to "just read your textbook lah." Oh yes, and he really did look like a tu di gong gong.

Finally, "Ka-chng," or "Backside" in Hokkien, was only called this as a pun on his name. He would take 10 slides to talk about something that could be summed up in one, and we had to have constant make-up lessons that ran as late as 8 PM, just because he couldn't finish his lessons on time. But I liked him anyway, and on the first lesson, found myself looking out for a wedding ring, which he -- much to my disappointment -- had.

Power

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."

-- Abraham Lincoln

What makes me cry

Death by committee

Quotable: "Under the Groningen protocol, if doctors at the hospital think a child is suffering unbearably from a terminal condition, they have the authority to end the child's life. The protocol is likely to be used primarily for newborns, but it covers any child up to age 12...

"A parent's role is limited under the protocol. While experts and critics familiar with the policy said a parent's wishes to let a child live or die naturally most likely would be considered, they note that the decision must be professional, so rests with doctors."

Please, please, please don't do this.

Happy Birthdays

Preserved umbilical cords now a fad

Everyone now: Huh?!

Year of the blog

Merriam-Webster says that 2004 was the year of the blog, but a spokesperson for the Oxford University Press says that "blog" was more "the word of last year rather than this year."

Singapore Idol

So I was out at the movies while the rest of the country was watching Singapore Idol. But VCR technology meant that I got to watch the performances too, albeit delayed. I think, though, that voters already made their minds up prior to tonight's show.

Congratulations, Taufik. I did think, when it was down to the last four, that whichever of them won it, they were going to be deserving of the victory.

Sly has a voice built for radio; this final all but showcased his inadequacies as a "live" singer. He screamed his way through "It's My Life" and did no justice to Jay Chou's "An Jing." And he knew it. The disappointment, especially through "It's My Life," was written all over his face. I give the judges all the credit in the world for being courteous on the big night. Dick, Douglas, and Ken, managed to cleverly circumvent the issue about his terrible "live" voice, and talked about his "sincerity" and "uniqueness" instead. Florence, however, was unable to do likewise; all she could do was to outright lie about his performance when she said that it "rocked." It most definitely did not, Florence, and you know it.

Taufik did both "Superstition" and some Mrs Jones song (something out of the judges' era, no doubt) perfectly, but his rendition of "I Dream" was sinfully boring. I almost fell asleep halfway through the song when he was singing it. I suspect Douglas did too, because he had totally no idea what he was talking about when he said... I don't even remember what he said -- I was half asleep. Sly's version of "I Dream," on the other hand, was absolutely captivating, and it almost drove me to tears. I think he was truly overwhelmed and touched at singing the last song of the competition. It was inspiring; he made it inspiring, in spite of the cheesy lyrics.

Taufik was the more natural on stage, of the two. Sly still had his awkward stage moments. But they both have one thing in common: they are the worst lip-synchers of the lot. Yes, Mediacorp, I think you owe Singapore a whole lot of "live" group performances.

Movie review -- De-lovely

I thought De-lovely was a horrible show. It was a movie that condoned -- even encouraged -- unhealthy relationships. I did not believe for one moment that it was love that Cole felt for Linda, nor that Linda felt for Cole; it was Hollywood's warped idea of romance. I hope the audience can differentiate between the two. If we subscribe to Hollywood's idea of "love," we will all be in deep trouble.

Cai tao kueh

X: "Want to come to my place for lunch? You can bring food over."

Me: "I'm eating *cai tao kueh. My aunt brought it over."

X: "You know, I used to think that cai tao was long beans."

Me: "So you thought cai tao kueh was made from long beans?"

X: "And carrots."

Me (incredulously): "Long beans are green and carrots are orange; cai tao kueh is white!"

X: "Cows eat green grass and give white milk. You can't just add food colours up like that!"

Me: "Well, okay, along those lines of logic..."

*Cai tao kueh = Radish cake

Relationships

For all the times I've decided against climbing out of bed to meet you guys for lunch, I'm sorry. I need to work harder at my relationships, even -- especially -- those that are seemingly fading. If it hasn't worked, it's my fault, too. And for that, I truly am sorry. I can only hope that it isn't too late, and that it isn't too little.